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It's just a purse, right? right? ...right? (NSFW)

Lol, of course not! This is Etsy, baby!

This purse-with-a-penis is priced remarkably cheaply at $35--which is quite possibly less than it cost to buy the jeans and wang materials. Personally, though, this is a bargain at any price.

"Reborn" is essentially dolls of infants. You know, just in case you wanted a dozen or so hyperrealistic dolls kicking around your house to remind you of your barren, fallow womb--cuz who else buys baby dolls?

Judging by the picture, either the artist has a terrible time creating a "tears" effect, or this doll's name is Baby's First Bukkake. (I'm going to hell for that, aren't I.)

Her name is Olivia, and she can be yours for just $75.

Say it with me, kids! Oh, looneycorn!

Honestly, the model just makes it for me. "I'm such a sexy bitch with my unicorn-peacock hat. All those men be mackin' out on my horny horniness. I'm the sexiest unicorn in Detroit, baby, awwwwww yeah."

Be still, my foolish bestial heart.

On the plus side, this entire monstrosity may be worthwhile if only for the humor value of watching someone's hat fall off every time they go through a doorway. At least, it might be if it didn't cost $1500.

Just say no to foot fetishes. By the way, did you know that four used workboots and a stool are collectively worth $750? Oh, Etsy.

But, the best for last. You ever see a piece on Etsy and think to yourself "it looks like they just took a perfectly fine garment, stuck a bunch of random crap on it, and are selling it for a hopelessly-inflated price"?


To quote from the item description:

I took a found shirt and some found objects and put them together for this crazy collage effect. Patches, zippers, bits and pieces, buttons, duct tape

At least they're honest? Considering everything's second-hand, don't you agree that $1000 is a fair price for this lovely item? Oy.


( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 18th, 2008 05:40 am (UTC)
I love the stool.

For $1500, that hat better be made with a real unicorn horn.
Mar. 18th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Oh, Olivander, we need you!
Mar. 18th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Repeat after me, Etsy sellers: Just because you made it doesn't mean you can get more than $25 for it.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - haptotrope - Mar. 20th, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 18th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
I want that purse so bad. Someone buy me it as a belated birthday gift.
Mar. 18th, 2008 05:04 pm (UTC)

I want that purse just so I can take it through the TSA checkpoint at the airport!

God, I love to fuck with those idiots people!

Mar. 18th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC)
I keep scrolling back up to look that the hat model's face again. XD I can't stop laughing at that expression.
Mar. 18th, 2008 06:17 am (UTC)
i really really want to know what is going through these people's minds when they ask so much money for their crap.
Mar. 18th, 2008 07:03 am (UTC)
No kidding! Maybe that's what it's like to be on crack?
(no subject) - aferalgoldfish - Mar. 18th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 18th, 2008 06:33 am (UTC)
OMG that doll looks EXACTLY like a less-speckled guy who lives at my mother-in-law's retirement community!!!
Mar. 18th, 2008 06:38 am (UTC)
I cannot believe someone ruined a pair of Long and Leans for that.
Mar. 18th, 2008 07:02 am (UTC)
Re: baby's first tears
You made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts now. I guess I'll see you in hell...
Mar. 18th, 2008 07:12 am (UTC)
either the artist has a terrible time creating a "tears" effect, or this doll's name is Baby's First Bukkake.

I'm a little bit in love with you right now.
Mar. 18th, 2008 08:21 am (UTC)
Baby's First Bukkake


I'm having a truly shitty day (and it's only 9:16 am, for fuck's sake!) and you saved it. Seriously.
Mar. 18th, 2008 11:52 am (UTC)
I'm astonished at the detail on that felt wang. It is truly a work of art.
Mar. 20th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD IT'S FELT. I thought it was just a dildo at first. DDDD:
(no subject) - tisiphone - Mar. 20th, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 18th, 2008 02:15 pm (UTC)
why? just...why???
Mar. 18th, 2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
This would go awesome with that vulva wallet from a coupla days back, no?


Mar. 18th, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, all that stuff is horrible! And overpriced, Christ! The patch on the shirt that reads "vile" says it all.
Mar. 18th, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC)
I should add- the unicorn hat? I remember those dangly flowers, the peacock, the blue flower on the side and the big ball in the middle as Christmas Ornaments from last year's temp job at the craft store. Collectively worth about $10 full-price.

Mar. 19th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
As in, the exact same items?!
(no subject) - skylanth - Mar. 19th, 2008 05:22 am (UTC) - Expand
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( 33 comments — Leave a comment )